1. |
Duets
03:24
|
|||
|
If I could make you happy you know I'd just click my heels and do it
If I could make it all worthwhile I'd set it right on up so you could sail right through it
But I can't make you smile or speak as if you'd ever laughed a single note of all those duets you and I laughed in the past
If the world inside you heart is that fucking doomed then i can't tell just what you'd have me rather say or be or think or do
Someone could stand right in you or doorway and convince you to step on through, but I just ain't the one to say the things that will get you to
|
||||
2. |
Open Letter
03:26
|
|||
|
Wanted to write you for awhile now and say that I see you
wanted to tell you but I didn't know how, something I know is true
when every inch of you makes an apology just for taking up space
you know, you don't displace anything more deserving
I see you, I believe you, and I know there's lots of stories that will never get told.
I know how dangerous it is to feel the will in others to deny what you lived as real
You woke up with strange hands on you, felt the need to be polite evenn as you withdrew
Sick to your stomach for being nice, how'd they make me feel like I deserve this?
One in despair could be misconstrued as shy, and every time someone asks you why you don't smile, the muffled rage as you try to hold together, been in bed for weeks just trying to get better
and the layers of distrust are there, it's hard to heal from something so fucking unfair
I can see you out in the sun, I can hear you laughing and you're louder than everyone
Loving so hard and unafraid, you're happy and you deserve it.
|
||||
3. |
Morning Moon
04:26
|
|||
|
The morning moon tears me out of bed, I swear, just for that cold pale stare
I used to think the lectures sucked, but now I know I am in luck
that I could decipher them at all, through the atmosphere through my cell walls, through the static of a sickly world, through resentful ovaries of girls
There's so much I missed, the years I spent head full of uselessness. I was glued to the screen, I was knee deep in the pantry. Eating myself to the other side of greedy little needs. Ten puppies clawing at the legs, Oh pick me up, oh please pick me.
And the moon is part of a mobile, it hangs above spins like a wheel
The pink puffy clouds over the trees, stars studded in blue and buried
I was goo goo ga ga all the way from the woods into town
On my back dumbfounded by the sights and sounds ignored in the background
I just arrive and take my place, dunce cap compliments red face
Detention for life for all the times, I didn't do the reading
I raised my hand and held it high but I was not listening
Head full of screaming that said, "Oh please pick me."
There's so much I missed, the years I spent uptight and pissed.
I was by the radio, tearing tissues to fall like snow. Screaming bloody murder into a megaphone with a pillow in the horn, tipping tables over then wishing I'd eaten the food before it hit the floor
The morning moon tears me out of bed I swear just for that cold pale stare. I used to think the lectures sucked, but now I know I am in luck
That I could decipher them at all through the atmosphere, through my thick skull
Through the ocean's tidal distortion, through the cramping in my abdomen
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
I swell up with understanding then shrink back to what I was
It's exasperating to search for things you can't find, find all these things you don't want
And eyes well up at the strangest moments, must just be hormones
or just profundity finally hitting me after I'd called it all dull
Hot coals of curiosity are waiting in the wind
In that grove of live oaks that were right there all these years beside me struggling
And who knows what makes the wind, some say it's just the world a'turning
And learning it comes with the aching, it's the dull throb of patience
I heard her crying while I was sleeping on the floor of her unkept house
She must have been hurting bad, the way she pounded on the floor the way she'd scream and shout
'Cause some boy had gone to break her heart, I wondered if she had a back up backbone, if you give them all you've got then you've got nothing left when you are left alone
And they'll say you're hysterical, they'll say you've got unfortunate hormones
But it's that stark reality finally hitting her, in this world she could be truly alone
And that one day I think she was praying for wind
'Cause her landscape needed replanting
And learning it comes with the aching, it's the dull throb of patience
|
||||
5. |
Pulsatilla
04:13
|
|||
|
Banishment, from the very heart of her
She was heaven sent, but dreams come true can be absurd
Contentment, the specter that would loom above each moment we tried to dress the madness up as love
Bewilderment in the desert of her mind, I got desperate fro something wetter and less wild, and for some encouragement that it was possible I would survive
If she'd only sent a little bit of manna from the sky
She showed me all of the wonders of sleeping out
You go to sleep seeing stars, wake up smelling flowers
The Pulsitilla and the Paintbrush peeking out
But there's a price to be paid for sneaking out
The cruelty, the novelty, a creature with a pleasing sting that feels so good as it afflicts, you almost could believe in it
The cruelty, the novelty, a creature with a pleasing sting, that feels so good as it afflicts, you want so bad to believe in it
She showed me all of the wonders of sleeping out
You go to sleep seeing stars, wake up smelling flowers
The Pulsitilla and the Paintbrush peeking out
But there's a price to be paid for sneaking out
|
||||
6. |
What's Ripe Will Rot
03:11
|
|||
|
I was like a berry in the sun wanting you to notice I was ripe
Unfurling petals like flags in an effort to attract
but they dried, and they died and they just peeled back
into that decoration, a collar to frame my sour anticipation
Waiting, warming, ripening, the constant drone of the others swarming
Were you that hesitant crow? Were you that callow child?
Unwilling to risk the pain of the thorns for the sustenance just growing wild
When you finally reached I just fell apart completely rotten throughout
|
||||
7. |
February
03:41
|
|||
|
I remember February, the paw prints in the snow
When winter's sanctuary made me someone I don't know
I remember October, big orange moon over the trees
And it was in October, twice illness had me on my knees
I remember January, packed my things I had to go
white knuckles gripped the wheel, I spun right off the road
Run run run, come on quick, from from from the wreckage
the paw prints in the snow are from your spirit, spirit
Go go go don't look back, pounce as if to attack, all that doubt and stagnant blood froze the heart and then it cracked.
|
||||
8. |
The Ruby
06:49
|
|||
|
There's a woman I only know from deja vu
all her movements show that she knows a secret I forgot I knew
I want so bad to ask her but I can't move my mouth
Eyes downcast just making beds
I can't break the spell as she walks out
In a grey dream of a works where everything's grey
Where you dream of doing only the most mundane of things all day
A grey guest house where you make grey beds all day
pull back the grey blankets to where a giant, brilliant ruby lay
Looking down at grey garments to realize how string the hypnosis of routine's been
the weeks, the months that must be gone
Every facet now reflecting something different
in every direction the distinct path of the light is bent
and there's a woman I only know from the windows
all her movements show she forgot the secret
it's lost in the folds
I want so bad to tell her and I open my mouth
but no sound can pass and I won't break the glass to let her out
From the darkest cave came the ruby
Made down in the place where the earth is hot and moving
Carried across the lake by a ferrier unknowing
that the stone could make fire like an ember that was glowing
Burned right through and sank
and set the lake to boiling
The ferrier escaped, on the beach laughing and rolling
|
||||
Bee Sahatji Portland, Oregon
Bee Sahatji is a Portland, OR based songwriter and a member of Portland bands Strangeweather and Aradia. Former member of Riot-folk Collective.
Bee Sahatji recommends:
Beautiful songs from former member of Gembrokers, Amelia Baker. Very dark, story-centered, haunting melodies with interesting lyrics.
go to album
Dangling Modifiers
by Annah Anti-Palindrome
The latest from optical sound-smith, writer, and performer Annah Anti-Palindrome. An ingenious mix of poetry, sound looping, real-time sound effects, samples, and beautiful singing.
go to album
Dark folk trio, former members of Gembrokers, Slow Teeth, and Abandon Ship. Beautiful meditative folk, really good instrumental and vocal interweavings.
go to albumIf you like Bee Sahatji, you may also like:
supported by 7 fans who also own “The Ruby”
Great atmosphere, melancholically beautiful. Wonderful harmony.
go to album
The Unconscious Echo
by Cinder Well
supported by 7 fans who also own “The Ruby”
It struck a nerve! Heartbreakingly beautiful.
go to album
The Creature That I Call Myself
by Julie Arsenault
featured on Bandcamp Radio Apr 21, 2015
go to album
